Poop Tales

Dylan is one funny kid. We're doing lots of shopping and eating out this week because my mom is town doing some Christmas shopping. (I've been to her best mall in SC and it ain't pretty. No wonder she comes to Raleigh to do her shopping.) Normally, Dylan is not the best shopper, but he has been a trooper this week and has kept us laughing. Just thought I'd share a couple of his recent stories. And yes, they both deal with his rear end. He is a boy, ya know.

Story #1...I'm in Victoria's Secret shopping for a gift. As I'm busy smelling all their new lotions (seriously, check them out...yummy!), Dylan looks at me and says "Mom, I pooping. I need to hide." Me, "Well, here's a corner. You stand in the corner and I'll hide you with the stroller." So, the kid gets in the corner and tells me "Mommy, no look at me." So, I turn my head and continue to smell the lotions. Next thing I know, a sales lady is walking around the wall by Dylan. He looks at her and says in all seriousness, "I'm pooping." I'm sure my face turned a couple shades of red and then I commented to Dylan "Well, I'm glad everyone knows your business now." The sales lady started laughing and said she has two kids of her own, so she knows all about that stuff.

Story #2...We had just finished up a very tasty lunch at P.F. Chang's with my Mom and Aunt. Aunt was leading the way out, weaving through the tables filled with patrons. My Mom was next in line and Dylan was holding her hand. I was bringing up the rear. Dylan turns to me and shouts "Mommy, you farted." I said, "No. No I didn't." Because, honestly...I didn't! But, Dylan can't leave things alone, so he says in the same loud voice, "Well, someone farted." I started laughing so hard I couldn't see straight and then my kid said "Someone farted" about three more times as we're weaving through tables of people trying to down their lunch.

See...my kid is a comedian.