The view from up here

Can be pretty cool sometimes. Being a Mom is so exhausting. Some days, many more than I'd like to admit, I just want to be able to 'go home' from work for the day. It really really bugs me when people think that stay at home moms have it easy. This is NOT easy! AND, I don't get to leave at 5. Nor do I get holidays, sick days, vacation days or even weekends. On occasion, a very rare occasion, I get a couple hours to myself. On an even more rare occasion, I'll get a few days away...about once every 2-3 years. Not exactly enough for sanity saving or be the 'me' I think I used to be.

I'm slowly figuring out that my definition of 'Me' is evolving into a different definition of 'Me.' When I really sit back and think about it, I am pretty happy with the new Me. Days are tough and sometimes I want to run away, but I'm guessing that I'm not the only one who feels that way. Yesterday was one of those days I wanted to be done at 5. Nothing bad happened and neither of my kids were being especially ornery, I was just tired and wanted to be alone. So, around 4pm, I decided to try something.

I sat down and just let myself be with Dylan. I feel like we always have to be doing something because, well, there is always something to be done. Perhaps that is why I'm always exhausted. I never just let myself sit. Luckily Dylan was up for the snuggle time. I took this shot to remind myself that sometimes it's okay to just sit. I'm actually accomplishing something when I do nothing!

Lena has been a little crabby lately...totally out of character for her. To her credit, she is working on cutting three more teeth. She was having a really hard time getting to sleep yesterday. So, at one point, I quit fighting with her and just rocked her for a bit. This is how she was staring at me...eyes wide open, not wanting to miss a thing.

I must admit, sometimes my view is really really awesome.