Awakening

You ever just have one of the moments where you're suddenly struck by something you already know, but perhaps you see it in a new way? Yeah, well, I have the moments occasionally. If you don't, you're either perfect or not paying attention.

The Young Women gave a presentation at church today. It was wonderful. All the girls gave some great talks on the different values, the leaders each bore their testimonies and all of them sang a beautiful song about being strong and courageous. As I was listening to the closing song, I was overwhelmed by what great confidence the Lord has in me. He has given me the opportunity to guide, teach, and comfort two of His children. I know that my kids are children of God, I've always known that. But, I never really think about the fact that it is my duty (coupled with my husband) to make sure that these two little ones have the foundation they need to make it in this world and onto the next. I am far from perfect and often find myself struggling to get by day to day - physically, mentally or spiritually - sometimes all three depending on the day. Yet, I am supposed to guide my kids in the right direction?! Good thing there is prayer, cuz I've got a lot of questions!


Dylan is such a tender-hearted child. I hope that my hardness never rubs off on him. I almost feel like I have nothing to teach him, but that he has everything to teach me. He has already learned so much about charity and forgiveness. He constantly amazes me with the things he knows, I definitely underestimate his intelligence. I hope that he is able to keep his care-free spirit throughout his life. I also hope that he is able to hold onto his abundant energy supply...it will come in handy later.

So far, Dylan and Lena are doing pretty good in the loving each other department. I just hope that their relationship will continue to grow in such a positive direction. I want them to be able to lean on each other as much as they lean on Mike and I. I hope that they will be good examples to each other. I really hope that they will understand the importance of staying close to their family. I hope that they continue to make each other laugh.

As I was watching the young women today (a couple of whom I have known from the time they were babies), my only thought was 'oh no, Lena will not be that old'. Actually it's more denial. When Mike blessed Lena back in June, there were two things that really stood out to me. First, that she will be a joy to her family. And that, she is. Second, he blessed her that she will have a strong bond with me. I pray every day that we will have a close relationship as she grows up. I never want her to feel like she is alone in this world. That no matter where her life takes her, I will always be there to love and support her...unconditionally.

I know that day to day I really struggle to find the 'Mom' in me. I don't lack in the self confidence department. But, I do lack in confidence when it comes to being a mom. I really hate to admit that, but it's the truth. I know that I can do better, that I can try harder and that I can have more patience. However, I know that I have someone cheering me on and who will help me out when I feel like I'm lacking. I also know that there is no one else on this Earth who will love and cherish Dylan and Lena more than I do. And I think that counts for something.

So, here's to being thankful for a new day, a fresh start, a re-awakening.